View from the Aquarium, 3

Everything looks different when behind the glass of an aquarium. It looks different because your position doesn't change much.

I look at the tables and chairs across the way from me. I'm not at their level, nor am I at standing height, both views being the normal way that I would see them. I'm not sitting at the table, nor am I walking by; I am sitting in my office chair and seeing them persistently from a different perspective. The same is true for the walls (funny how the different tones in the wood look from here), the clutter on the walls (walking by they seem fine, but from a stationary view, the signs and postings look like clutter), and the carpet (if I view the carpet just a tad out of focus, I can find faces in it, sort of like looking at clouds). I'm sure that I would look different to my fish if they could get out the aquarium and change their angles of view by moving around. A constrained position limits vision, but it also provides a new vision when you're accustomed to less limitation.

View from the Aquarium, 2

Where as the fish in my aquarium at home can't limit my view of them, or theirs of me, by any means other than hiding, I can close my blinds if I tire of others looking in. I rarely tire of looking out. From this view, I can see how beautiful beauty can be and how nontraditional it can be; I see expressions ranging from anger to fear to joy to confusion to distraction; I see humility and hubris, confidence and insecurity. Oh, and I see some beauty, or perhaps I already mentioned that.

For every 100 women who walk by, there are 101 who I would like to photograph; for every dozen "characters" that cross my angle of view, there are a baker's dozen I'd like to chat with, if even for only a moment. For every familiar smile offered from acquiantances, or uncertain smile returned to me from strangers, there is a feeling of momentary connectedness.

I don't think my fish have those pleasures.

View from the Aquarium

A few months ago, my office was moved from upstairs to downstairs. I went from a "room with a view" to a "room to be viewed." Whereas I used to look out my window to watch trees, birds and the weather, I now look out onto an atrium where people come and go as they traverse the building for meetings, classes, entry or egress. I watch them, and they can watch me. I'm in an aquarium. This section of the blog represents this new world, this "view from the aquarium."

The Journey....of journeys

I'm at the confluence of three streams: reading "Blue Highways" and the lessons therein about the wisdom gained on journeys (of all kinds); attending the class at church about using one's gifts in service to God in service to His creation; and, collapsing under the weight of the burden of trying to keep everything under control (life as project management, as it were). The streams confluence has created a non-trivial disturbance that I hope will become an energy that will become a rapids of excitement and propulsion. But, for now...well, I have a crazy combination of influences coming together creating something new, and bringing me insights.

The overwhelming lesson on this part of the journey is simple: "Being confident is okay, but you gotta be humble." Yes, I believe that I'm called to do great things (greater things than simply success in the day job, or touching a few people with my presentations and imagery, etc.) and I'm committed to doing them, whatever they end up being. But....I have to continue to remind myself that no matter how powerful the call and how great the purpose, on a worldly, universal or eternal perspective....well, my work is nothing much. So much for "being all that and a bag of chips."

The streams are also carrying messages and insights that reveal and remind that most everyone wants to be recognized, affirmed and assured that what they are doing is important. Most everyone, I believe, wants to know that in at least some way, they are "all that."

So, where is the only place where everyone can (or should) be accepted as "all that" on at least one thing? The place where they are recognized as important because they are God's creation. That should be sufficient, but it requires faith, and active work and prayer to accept that the only "person" who matters---God---DOES belief you are "all that and a bag of chips." We all have a hard time believing that. We need our faith, particularly in these times, to find a place that says "you're special, you're loved and you ain't perfect...but that's okay."

The Journey continues

My fiancee, Kim, and I attended the first meeting of our first church study group together. The s m a l l group topic is a book titled "If You Want to Walk On The Water You've Got to Get Out of the Boat." It is certainly a topic that both of us are interested in, and one that I find particularly compelling. For all my belief in it, I still feel like I'm not getting out of the boat. I believe this class is akin to when one opens the bible to a random page and finds something that really needed to be read/heard that day. I pray that the discussions related to the topic and book are the inspiration and support that I need to get out of the boat.

More news as this takes hold...

More and more I feel that I still haven't begun the journey; maybe I'm still simply packing my bags. Who knows.

Rewards

REWARDS

No matter what type of drought one experiences, there will be the rewards of a harvest and plenty for those who persist.

It has been an embarrassingly long run of fishing since I have caught a reasonable number or a reasonable sized fish on excursions alone or with one of my sons. Except for a guided trip last year in which all four of us caught a number of sharks, it has been slim pickings for the past six to seven years for me. Even my youngest son said a few months ago, in a gesture of support, "Dad, I don't know if I could continue fishing as persistently as you do if I had gone so long without a good outing." He catches large bass regularly from creeks in the Friendswood area where he lives. His statement was a left-handed compliment, and he meant well by it. Of course, he is one of the reasons I persist. Our fishing time together yields stories and memories we'll pass along for decades.

About two months ago, we bought a small inflatable boat and six horsepower motor for getting out quickly, easily and quietly. This sturdy little combination has already given us the chance to tool around area waters in search of alligator gar, alligators, fish and discovery. This weekend we decided to try launching from the shore in Freeport and then motor out far enough to possibly encounter shark, trout, redfish or other interesting fish. A month ago, my youngest and one of his brothers talked about me breaking my fishing doldrums with an "old man and the sea" sort of experience. Clearly their message had a dual meaning.

We headed into the short waves about 9:30 Saturday morning and by 9:45 we were watching dolphins surface nearby, birds feeding, baitfish darting and swirls enticing us. From our position, essentially at the water's surface, we experienced fish feeding frenzies in which shark and other aggressive feeders tear into schools of baitfish while birds dive in from above to join the feast. It was quite an experience to be so close to such activity.

One such frenzy occurred quite close to us, boiling up as my bait was landing into the water. Moments later a fish and I were connected, and it peeled line off my heavy surfcasting reel as I watched. My son pulled in our makeshift anchor and, while the fish pulled us around, he started the motor and soon we were in pursuit of the fish. It zigged and zagged, catching up in the line of a woman fishing in a boat nearby and cutting her line. Soon, her leader was knotted on the end of my rod. My "guide" loosened it enough for the fight to continue. I called out to our neighbor, "We'll bring your leader back when we're done!" We also joked about being pulled to Cuba. "Old man and the sea" thoughts crossed my mind often.

Not wanting a large shark near our inflatable boat with sharp fins (or teeth!), I asked him several times, "you have your knife ready to cut the line?" This tug of war went on for quite a while until we had a jack crevalle inside the boat. About three and one-half feet long, guesstimating a weight of 15-20 pounds, this fish represented the first fish caught from our little boat, the largest fish I have ever caught, the most interesting fish adventure with any of my sons, and an outing never to be forgotten. The photo my son took with his cell phone is now the wallpaper for his phone and mine.

Neither of us are ready to turn professional now, but the weekend's adventure was beyond our wildest imagination. It was the product of never giving up. And while the fish is something to be quite proud of, the best thing it gave us was yet another story to carry for decades. Rewards come to those who persist, and usually it comes as something other than was hoped for in the first place.

Passing of Time

The last week or so I cited someone's comment to me that the passing of time was obviously important to me. I have considered that reality and wondered how long that has been going on. Is this a midlife matter or something that rests at a more cellular level. As I've thought about the matter, I found clues further and further in my past when I was touched or concerned about the passing of time. A poem that I wrote at age 17 about honoring an old man and wondering whether he had hard feelings of lost abilities and memories was clearly influenced by Neil Young's "Old Man." The song was influential, and I was naturally receptive.

But today, as I struggle for words with this week's Listen to Life newsletter, I select tunes that take me back to a different time and place. "Puff the Magic Dragon" plays and the answer comes clear. The reason that I still cry when I read Sly Silverstein's "The Giving Tree" is the same reason that after a few listens to "Puff" as a young kid, I could not listen to it for decades. They both to speak to the changes, the losses, and the mortality of aging, and how that changes relationships. They also speak to the permanence of love throughout.

The passing of time has always concerned and intrigued me; I've done my best to honor that through my creative outlets as an adult. I realize that this concern is nothing new that I need to re-align to forge into the future. My concern for changes manifested over time and for the lasting of love and relationships was written into my DNA. The question remains, what do I do with this? and now how can I get rid of this?

Book sample

Please take a moment to check out sample chapters of my book at http://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/book_excerpt.asp?bookid=30244. The samples touch on beauty, leaving relationships, the best self-help tool, and the power of pillow talk.

Enjoy.

The Journey continues

The old joke comes to mind...the one about the man who says God will take care of him as the huge hurricane is coming. At different stages of the flood, up until the time when the man is on his roof, various people come by to help him evacuate from the dangerous situation. Each time, he replies, "God will take care of me." When he drowns and goes to heaven, he says to God, "I thought you were going to take care of me." "I tried," God replied, "with the neighbor, the fireman and then the Coast Guard guy."

The dual messages come to mind next: do we really know when and how God is influencing us and/or our lives? and God's work is done through God's people.

I struggle with both issues on a daily basis. Are the multitude of frustrations in one realm of my life actually "signals" to leave that situation for something different, or are they shaping and forging me to do God's work there? I prefer to think it is the latter, but I wonder if it is the first. Perhaps circumstances are God's way of saying, "time to move on to your calling. See? There is nothing for you where you are." Or is it that? Only prayer and discernment provides some clues, but never the clear answers.

No matter what the message is, it is undoubtable that people are the hands and feet of God, i.e., the physical presence. Each opportunity to meet someone new, or to interact genuinely, is the chance to access just a bit more of His power, grace and flame.

Generation improvements

There is much talk about whether the boomer generation's children will be the first to be worse off than their parents. Or maybe it is the generation X's kids. Whatever. People are looking for the place in the "how good we're doing" curve that it declines. Generational "keeping up with the Jones'" among other things, but there is more going on here.

For those keeping score, it tends to be based on possessions, wealth and job futures. How about health, medical care, freedom to experience, and other things?

I have no idea whether my three sons will make more than I am making. My oldest now makes more in his own business than I did at his age in my own business. Adjusted for inflation, it is likely still more. I was married and he was born when I was his age now, which has some implications, too. Upon greater review of each of the boys (ages 25, 21, 14), I know they are better off in many ways, and I'm proud to say so. The ways they are better off speak more to their potential future lives than whether they make more than me, have more than me or anything else that is wealth or consumption related at comparable ages.

I can safely say that at comparative ages to me, each has been more confident, mentally tough, competitive, charming, confidently curious, and expressive of their thoughts. The checkbook measurables don't much matter to me any more.

Music of Son and Father

The Living Years--Mike and the Mechanics (birth)
Arms Wide Open--Creed (raising)
Cat's in the Cradle--Harry Chapin (raising)
Younger Generation--Loving Spoonful (raising)
Father and Son--Cat Stevens (about time to move on)
Child's Song--Tom Rush (child leaving)

I listen to these songs to remember growing up and to remember my sons are, too. These explain the cycle about as well as any psychology or parenting book ever could.

The Journey: Part Five

The conversation was about parents, fitting on Mother's Day. Then he said, "She told me that a child's first impressions of God comes in the actions of the parents." Zing.

I thought of when I explained to a struggling friend that God was "mega-dad," a loving and caring father figure. Or to my sons that God was caring, though not afraid of disciplining, but largely leaving us to our own decisions. Example upon example substantiated the claim made to my friend about parents' roles in shaping impressions of God.

It didn't take long to get to the next step: responsibility. Parents have a responsibility to share concepts of faith, love, charity, respect, not only for the current day behavior of their children, but also their children's perceptions of the divine that will affect them for a lifetime.

The Journey: Part Four

The sermon at church service yesterday was supposed to discuss the topic of finding peace in times of fear. But that's not what I walked away with.

Citing Matthew's story of Jesus walking on water as an example of finding peace in turbulent times, i.e., Jesus coming to Peter and the apostles during the storm. Peter sank because he did not have sufficient faith. The lesson continued. I couldn't let go of what I believe is the real question, in that reading, throughout the Bible and in our daily lives: "having belief and having faith are totally different issues...issues that can mean your life, and life hereafter."

Whether one can translate belief in something to faith in it marks a distinction in our lives of religion, work, philosophy and daily life. Belief in God and faith that He loves us, saved us, and wants us to be happy separates the flock, as it were. One can believe passively. Faith requires action because it is the faith that supports the action.

We are called to action, to take the steps necessary to come closer to God. We cannot take those actions without faith.

Leadership's Mandate

My oldest son and I were talking about the role of leaders and leadership in organizations. Our viewpoints differed, but the end result was the same.

I believe that ineffective, visionless, cowardly leaders who won't make decisions and fritter away the talent of the those in his or her charge through action or inaction, are behaving in a way that borders on sinful. The amazing potential of human beings with God-given abilities provides a resource that is entrusted to leaders, and cannot be neglected. The lack of accountability to fulfilling that potential for the good of the organization is inexcusable, I say.

My son believes that leaders/managers can be total jerks if they want to if the organization meets its goals. He believes it is a shame to waste human talent, but it is the perogative of the boss to do so. The caveat, for him, is that the boss needs to be honest about it up front: "I am going to work your butts off and all that should matter to you should be this company," or such. "But," he continued, "the boss has to be clear about that on the front end, even during the interview." Bingo.

The deception played by leaders/managers who talk about excellence, employee value, employee development, community-ness, partnership, collaboration and achievement is devastating when the truth of actions and inactions cut talent and inspiration off at the knees.

Honesty in leadership. On all levels. No smoke, no mirrors, no BS, no gamesmanship: put the cards on the table and go. Where is it?

Art students, and other creators

I thought of the students cited in my previous post when I came across this by Emerson: "Happy is he who only looks into his work to know if it will succeed, never into the time or public opinion; and who writes from the love of imparting certain thoughts and not from the necessity of the sale--who writes always to the unknown friend."

What do you see? Creation and other lessons.

I'm on a break from teaching a photography class at the Visual Arts Scholastic Event (VASE). The title that was chosen for the workshop was "Taking Award-Winning Photographs." I would never title a workshop like that, but it did help attract students, I guess. Besides, it did help me frame the work of the day: My first lesson to share with the students is that "if you are here to learn how to win awards, please do yourself a favor and leave. Today we will learn how to see. And when you see, the quality of your work will improve. Be more powerful. You may even win awards. But if that is your motivation, then leave now. We'll close our eyes so you can do it secretly." There were many smiles and knowing nods.

The 60 young people I taught today completely understood that message. They weren't focused on awards, even though VASE is the culminating competition for Texas art students. They understood the awards are great, but that the power (POWER) to express and communicate creatively was award enough.

As we discussed motivations, there were expressions of joy, sadness, laughter and understanding. They understand the human condition, within their own worlds, and they work to understand how that relates to who they are. Their questions were great, their silence profound, their answers enlightening. I can only hope they don't succumb to their parents' quest to fill their rooms with trophies and to pad their resumes for scholarships. The energy of art is lost when the quest is for reward.

My fiance reminds me of that, too. When I fall in the rut of "needing" to create to bring in additional income, I lose the joy of creation, the energy of imagination and the exhilaration of accomplishment. I suspect we all fall into those ruts. We can learn from each other how to keep the joy of creation and the spoils of accomplishment in the right perspectives. By teaching high schoolers today, they taught me anew.

Six Weeks

My fiance shared a story about a friend of the family who died. It was a short story: he was diagnosed with cancer six weeks ago, and now he is dead. Six weeks. It will be seven months before she becomes my wife. Time is fleeting, I consider as these two timeframes cross my mind..well, they collide in my mind. Then more timeframes: five years before my youngest son graduates from high school, 20 years since I left my beloved photography to pursue a more stable career, two months before I hear back on a proposal I sent out. Six weeks, six weeks, six weeks....

It reminds me of the woman scoutmaster in New Mexico. She explained to me years ago that she was diagnosed with cancer and figured "I will not die living the life I am," and she divorced her husband and began living as she truly wanted. She was a cancer survivor, married to a different man, working mightily with the Boy Scouts, and a hero/ine to many young men. "I will not die living the life I am"...

Would you want to die living the life you are living now? Not me. I may be taking a slow turn to the changes I want, but I figure there are quicker ways to make the bend around. So, changes that are already afoot will come faster now. They have to. My dad used to tell me, "You ain't gonna learn any younger" whenever I wanted to try something new or different. It could be said that "you're not gonna begin living any sooner" either.

The Journey: Part Three

(c) Dion McInnis 2007. All rights reserved.



CONVERSATIONS

A couple of weeks ago, my youngest son and I were heading to the house. It was one of our weekends together, which always results in stories, fishing, laughter and a bit of craziness. On that day's drive, we added a conversation about God. I don't recall exactly how we got to the topic, but it is not where we started...just as it is for many in their questions about God. Those questions arise from other questions, like "why did I suffer the loss of my parent/child/spouse?" or "how was all this neat stuff really created in the first place?" It was something like the latter question that got us going.

We talked about God, creation and such, and then his questions became a bit more directed, like "what do you believe God is then, dad?"

We had a long, wonderful dialog lasting about 45 minutes and then he said, "We don't have conversations about God at home. This was interesting."

God is interesting. So are conversations about him, as long as the conversing parties can maintain mutual respect for each other's questions, answers and beliefs. We become better teachers of our faith when we actually teach it and encourage others to learn (there is a difference, you know); just like we become better believers when we share beliefs and converse with those with little or no belief.

Jesus' work was largely built on stories shared in conversations, with groups large and small. I don't imagine him having a library of self-help tapes and DVDs, actually. It was the give and take of conversation that spoke to the value of the downtrodden, the clarity of the Kingdom, and the role of discipleship.

...which leads me to another conversation, with a colleague. Once we finished our business chat, we found ourselves talking about faith, religion, and such, and I told him about this blog on "the journey." He asked a question: "Who do you believe God is?" It was an easy question to answer based on my beliefs and experiences, though the answer was not something memorized in an old catechism book (though influenced by it), nor from ministry classes (though influenced by them), nor from a multitude of religious and philosophical readings (though influenced by them).

...which leads me to another conversation, with my middle son. We were discussing jobs, roles, callings, making changes along the way while keep an eye on the ball. And what is "the ball' anyway? For me, it has to do with using the abilities that God gave me as fully as possible. Anything that impedes that is not tolerable over the long term, in my mind, and I feel that I will be called upon on Judgement Day to respond to the age-old question? "What did you do with what I gave you?" I figure that means the talents I was born with, the people who have influenced me throughout my life (either positively or negatively), the country and society that I live in with its temptations and its opportunities, my health, and so on. What HAVE I done with those things in order to fulfill a call to serve, to make the world a better place and to help others in MY way?

The point of this part of the journey is simple: Talk. Converse. Ask questions, answer questions. We as people connect in conversation, learn in conversation, are healed in conversation.

Years ago I delivered a homily on the theme that we are all Christophers, no matter what our name actually is, i.e., we are all Christ bearers, taking Christ from one place to another, from one side to the other, from one people to another. And it isn't easy. And that's okay. Conversing with others is one great way to carry the message....for yourself and for others.

Play Ball

youth

The Journey: Part Two

Photo (c) copyright Dion McInnis 2005. All rights reserved.

I'll build my own, thank you.

The Journey: Part One

(c) copyright Dion McInnis 2007. All rights reserved.

I'm a lifelong Catholic, active in the church for decades and at one time I took courses for the prerequisites for deaconate studies. Life continued to happen and the turmoil of the past five years pushed me out the doors, not further into the sanctuary of the...well, the sanctuary...the church. Self-study, self-prayer and self-searching led me to a variety of churches in hopes of having better prayer and conversation with God than I was having on my own in the places of my choosing. I couldn't find anything better. And not until now could I admit that, yes, I was lost.

During this time, I went to life's courtesy booth so the nice person behind the counter could call out across the universe like the lady does at Target: "Attention, please. There's a boy at the front of the store. He is upset because his parents are lost." I was lost, but too proud, scared or hurt to admit it, so, like the little boy at the store, I figured that perhaps someone could call out to connect me to my God. It doesn't really work that way, but it sort of does.

So this is the first part, the first recognition of the journey to share with you. What is the journey of a man who was so involved in church (details of that will follow over time) yet who couldn't find one in times of pain and change? What role does prayer play in daily life when the church's doors are closed? What does it take to say--like I did almost 20 years ago--"God, I surrender. I cannot even pretend to steer anymore. I will push and drive as hard as I can, with all the energy and talent that you have given me. But, I don't know where I'm going. You steer. If you have plans for me, it's best you take me to them 'cause I can't guess anymore."?

I've been to several denominations over the past few years, but I won't mention them much in this blog of "The Journey." I will share, however, the journey. I'm not taking a journey; it is taking me.

God bless.

Listen to Life: And Alive

“…AND ALIVE.”


She threw herself a birthday party this past weekend with a simple theme: "35 and alive." As much as I appreciated the invitation to attend, I more appreciated the meaning of the theme to her. And to everyone.

I first met Stephanie about five years ago after she left an abusive marriage and attended a creative workshop that I conducted for a women's shelter in the area. As she moved through her life's transitions, she put her thoughts into words and images, some of which appeared in exhibitions and the newspaper. I suppose that eight years ago she felt scared and desperate, with a child and in an abusive home. The day of the party showed a different scene--one of a courageous woman with a contagious smile who laughed while telling stories of her two part-time jobs, full-time school schedules and more.

The message -- the theme of her party -- carries a poignant reminder. No matter your age, you're still alive. That is reason enough to celebrate, bring your family and friends together, and share food and laughter.

Each of us has times of darkness, frustration, pain and discomfort, as well as joy, passion, enthusiasm and love. These are all part of being alive. Each day gives us cause to proclaim to others and ourselves, "35 (40, 45, 50, 60, 70, 80..) and alive." Each day provides a chance to improve our circumstances, to invite others into our journey, and to celebrate.

Happy birthday, Stephanie.


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Listen to Life is an electronic newsletter that presents lessons for living by listening to life, based on the writing, poetry, photography, presentations and workshops of Dion McInnis. Stories such as these inspired the book, “Listen to Life: Wisdom in Life’s Stories,” published in 2005, available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Borders. Dion’s next book will share his views of being father and son. To subscribe, send an email to: addnewsletter@dionmcinnis.com. To be removed from the subscription list, send email to:unsubscribe@dionmcinnis.comWeb link: www.dionmcinnis.com© 2007 Dion McInnis. All rights reserved.We encourage sharing Listen to Life in whole or in part if copyright and attribution are always included. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Listen to Life: You're Beautiful

“YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL…”

“You’re beautiful,” the man said as he looked over my shoulder to the image of his wife that I showed him in my camera’s screen. The images that I create are not for the men in women’s lives, but for the women and for me. That makes the man’s comments more special. Each comment came in a whisper as a reaction to what he saw.

Of course I am proud when I hear such things, but there is something more important about the comments of Emily’s and Jennifer’s husbands: they were spoken spontaneously.

The men responded to the beauty of the women they love. The images were not glamorous, nor of the “beauty” genre, yet they clearly revealed beauty. The men responded with “you’re beautiful” with the power of loving whispers.

We all need to be open to beauty—particularly other than that which the media defines—and we need to respond to it. Respond to her.

Let beauty take our breath away, and allow ourselves to say so.





Listen to Life is an electronic newsletter that presents lessons for living by listening to life, based on the writing, poetry, photography, presentations and workshops of Dion McInnis. Stories such as these inspired the book, “Listen to Life: Wisdom in Life’s Stories,” published in 2005, available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Borders. Dion’s next book will share his views of being father and son.

To subscribe, send an email to: addnewsletter@dionmcinnis.com. To be removed from the subscription list, send email to:unsubscribe@dionmcinnis.comWeb link: www.dionmcinnis.com© 2007 Dion McInnis. All rights reserved.We encourage sharing Listen to Life in whole or in part if copyright and attribution are always included.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you, Mrs. Owens

Mrs. Owens taught English class at St. Cecilia's school in Houston back when the decade of love and peace was drawing to a close. I have no idea where she is now, but I'd be happy to give her a hug and a thank you because she turned me on to writing with a simple classroom assignment. I remember it well.

It was probably only a make-work project to help keep the students occupied while improving their writing skills. It lit a tinder. The assignment was to write a description about something. Anything. Maybe it had to be something in the room, or maybe not. I don't recall. I do remember my subject.

After much searching, I decided to write about the pen I was writing with. It was beige. Three colors of ink--red, black and blue--selected by pushing down colored slides at the top. The top and the bottom of the pen were separated by a metal collar that had tarnished. There were teeth marks on it--plenty of teeth marks--because I gnawed on my pens a lot back then. There was writing on the side. I didn't realize then that pens like that are called "advertising specialties"; my dad had brought it to me from one of his clients. As I went on to describe the pen, I "saw" an image of the pen appear on the paper through words. I was hooked.

In hindsight, I imagine that it was the clarity of the image that hooked me because by the time I was 13, I had already spent seven years capturing my world in photographs. When words became images, I was hooked. My life changed; it has been influenced by words and images ever since.

Thank you, Mrs. Owens.

Listen to Life: Teach With Silence

TEACH WITH SILENCE

Her name was Vicki. She passed away this weekend, after a too-long battle against cancer, well before her midlife. I won’t pretend after her passing to know her better than I really did, but one could learn a lot from her by what she did not say, as well as what she did.

Vicki had a difficult adult life, most of which will not be referenced here. Included in her list of challenges were breast cancer, near remission, and reoccurrence of cancer throughout her body. Despite those circumstances over the past several years, people did not hear her complain, place blame, or curse fate. In her silence, one could hear her faith, poise, peace and resolve.

We often can say much more when we don’t speak; we can teach about reacting by our lack of actions. Life is neither easy nor fair; it is neither logical nor just; and, we can have few true expectations from it. In tribute to Vicki, I shall say little here tonight, other than that sometimes the most important lessons we can teach are those of our silence over speech, calm over rage, peace over fighting, and acceptance over blame.

God bless you, Vicki.



Listen to Life is an electronic newsletter that presents lessons for living by listening to life, based on the writing, poetry, photography, presentations and workshops of Dion McInnis. Stories such as these inspired the book, “Listen to Life: Wisdom in Life’s Stories,” published in 2005, available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Borders. Dion’s next book will share his views of being father and son.

To subscribe, send an email to: addnewsletter@dionmcinnis.com. To be removed from the subscription list, send email to:unsubscribe@dionmcinnis.comWeb link: www.dionmcinnis.com© 2007 Dion McInnis. All rights reserved.We encourage sharing Listen to Life in whole or in part if copyright and attribution are always included.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Listen to Life: Sold

SOLD

The other day I laid my gray suit to rest. It was ten years old, and, despite its worn condition, it was the best of the three I had. I knew it was time to get a new suit or two, and Men’s Wearhouse was having its fall sale. A perfect opportunity to deal with the business at hand, though only out of necessity instead of desire. Saturday was errand/chore day, and shopping for clothes seemed to fit that criterion, as did an evening trek to a presentation in the Galleria. The two experiences could not have been more different.

An hour after our arrival at the Men’s Wearhouse, my fiancé and I left the store. I had a lot more than I intended, and felt good about it. No buyer’s remorse there. The evening event, a follow on to the big Bridal Extravaganza last week, proved to be quite different. We didn’t buy anything, and if we had, there would certainly have been buyer’s remorse. As we left the evening presentation, she said, “I just wasn’t feeling it.” Feelings hold the root of both situations.

Why did I spend more than twice what I had intended with Clifford at the Baybrook Men’s Wearhouse? Because I felt good in the clothes and I felt good about myself and I felt good about his advice. I told him as we prepared to leave that I had not much cared about my attire for a long time: adequate appearance was plenty fine for me. I didn’t worry about looking good. But, I felt good in the clothes he selected on only his first and third tries off the rack. He bantered with me and Kim as I tried on suits and pants. He didn’t talk to us like a salesman, but like people, and when he had me replace my running shoes for nice Bostonians “just for measuring the pant length,” I told him that I knew what he was doing, but that he did what he did well: create a sense of well being. I bought the shoes, too. The evening salesperson went from showman to snip in the moment we said we were interested in something smaller than he had in mind.

Clifford was attentive, playing off the cues of what I said, and of what Kim said when I was in the dressing room. He had no idea how welcome the chance to look good was for me.

We never know the state of the people we interact with. We never know how open or desirous they may be for a sincere compliment, a moment of attentiveness, a minute of listening, or a chance to share stories. Assume it will make a difference. It probably will.

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Listen to Life is an electronic newsletter that presents lessons for living by listening to life, based on the writing, poetry, photography, presentations and workshops of Dion McInnis. Stories such as these inspired the book, “Listen to Life: Wisdom in Life’s Stories,” published in 2005, available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Borders. Dion’s next book will share his views of being father and son.

To subscribe, send an email to: addnewsletter@dionmcinnis.com. To be removed from the subscription list, send email to:unsubscribe@dionmcinnis.comWeb link: www.dionmcinnis.com© 2007 Dion McInnis. All rights reserved.We encourage sharing Listen to Life in whole or in part if copyright and attribution are always included.
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Inspiration

Message to HER Man


Quit looking at me that way buddy
I don't want your girl or wife
I'm just responding to inspiration
Why don't you get (and give her) a life?

(c) Dion McInnis

It's the Seeing, Not the Taking

The Taking, Not the Seeing
© Dion McInnis





Some time ago, I had the pleasure of teaching two photography workshops to high school artists at the Visual Arts Scholastic Event held at the University of Houston-Clear Lake. Each group of 25 students participated in instruction, conversation and photography that reminds us all of what we are really doing as photographers. As part of the contingency of 1200 art students who were there, it was clear that they understand artistic principles. But, had they really learned to see yet?

Beginning each class with a few reminders about photographic principles, including that photography is "light drawing," i.e., no light, no drawing, depth of field, rule of thirds, perspective, angle of view, dimensionality and more, we then got to the heart of the matter: seeing. Then the group headed out to campus to take photographs, either with their own equipment or with the disposable cameras that VASE provided. After about 20 minutes, they returned to discuss what had happened.

"I'd like to know what you saw. And if you start out with 'I took a picture of…' I will cut you off. What did you see?" I challenged each class. The responses were amazing, ranging from the heavily symbolic ("I saw the contrast of animate and inanimate with the plant reflected in the glass of the building") to the curious ("I saw my own reflection in the glass and beyond that, someone walking up the sidewalk that looked sort of like me") to the sublime ("I saw a neat color contrast of the gray stones and the brown bricks"), but all were sincere and full of discovery. We then discussed the various techniques and steps they could utilize to emphasize in photos what it was that they saw.

A healthy question to ask ourselves while taking photographs, and reviewing our work later, is "What did I see?" All our techniques, software, printing options, and so on are merely tools to help us convey what we saw and the feelings/reactions inspired by the what we see. The classes were reminded that at times we shouldn't take photographs, but pause, absorb and then create. As we stand at dusk by a lake, do we grab the shot of colors and reflections, or do we pause to hear the sounds, feel the breeze and sense the fading heat of the day? If so, then we may choose a shutter speed to show the slight motion created by dusk breeze, or saturation options (digital or film choices) to emphasize the hot colors in the scene.

Have our years of "taking" images dulled our senses, particularly our ability to see? What do we really see? It is, after all, the seeing not the taking.

Show You Who I See in You

A few years ago, I explained my approach to photography to a woman, and she replied, "I would love for you to show me who you see in me."

That comment focused me like a lens.My images of women are created without judgment or expectation....visual access is all I ask, and then through listening to conversation and to silence, I create based on who I see, who I am learning about, and who becomes revealed to me. Not many women seem to have the courage or feel they have the "permission" to be photographed in such a way. I'm not saying that is a bad thing, though it is artistically frustrating for me....but this isn't really about me. It's not easy to , and I understand the many forces that may prevent a woman from being truly seen. "My spouse/significant other wouldn't want me to," is one I've heard plenty of times. I've seen something else over the years.

It seems that women tend to evaluate themselves as if naked in front of a full-length mirror and under bright lights: they WILL find SOMEthing to not like. A wrinkle here, cellulite there, her mother's hips, a scar...something, anything. But invariably, when a woman says I should photograph her sister, mother, niece or friend, she will say, "She is so beautiful. You should see her eyes (or mouth or hands or skin or ....)." The point is, women tend to deny their own beauty because one "flaw" or another, yet they attribute beauty to another in her entirety because of one beautiful aspect.

In my photography, and in my poetry and other writing, I'm trying to show that I see in each woman the many sources of beauty, reality and humanity that She generally only concedes in others.I'm not saying my way is the right way...but it is the only way I really know.

Feel free to check out "God, You're Beautiful: What We Say, We Say to God," at www.dionmcinnis.com/pdf/GYB.pdf

Starting the Blog

OK, so I'm starting this blog now...finally. Topics will range over a variety of topics. There will certainly be stories; check my web site (http://www.dionmcinnis.com/) and you'll see that stories surround all my work. There will be rants, thoughts and musings on photography, writing, being a father and more. And opinions, plenty of opinions.If you want to receive my weekly newsletter, "Listen to Life: Wisdom in Life's Stories," send an email to subscribe@dionmcinnis.com.